(Insert term for Boredom-stricken OSU-Boy here).

Ok peeps! Here I go. I started to write this exactly 7days ago. 7days later and I'm still scribbling. Nepa, then gen and it's ugly repairer (Boda Semiu)have largely been responsible. It's not funny. I barely know where I'm headed, as I'm with  with not much of a direction, but e sure me sey I no go lost. The dosage of boredom is high, I've been doing lots of random thinking lately. Very boring, annoying, random musings I shouldn't even be putting on paper. OGD's not been helping matters you know, so it doesn't hurt if I decide to run my head a bit- at least it's my head. So yes! Let's do this. **clears throat**. Public Announcement eyin temi; I've found a new love! Hol' on a min guys, 'cos I see so many peeps halting and I see so many eyes popping! Yes! I tell ya, I'm one helluva lucky ass bearded pimple-faced mo'fucka! Me, as in emi JayJ lasanlasan, finally manages to pull off a stunt which will definitely get y'all rabble-rousers some gossip time. Hehe! "Hello female reader(s), how many of y'all are feeling burnt presently 'cos of my proclamation?"  I see so many sad faces.**Now counting**, 1...13..64, 108 556..907. Choi! Una go fia confession o! Hey easy on me peeps. It's not my fault really is it? I asked out a dozen of y'all out last year, but na soso kpangolo jero forming una dey form. Eyin oniranu jatijati, now it's paining you people that I've found a love abi? When somebody was toasting you why were you forming nonsense activity? Even one razz Ikenne Indigine sef I toasted last year was forming fine gal. Ehh! You people can imagine o! Irritating ifo-so-mi-doyinbo Yoruba-hammering local Ijebu champion like her, The geh sef was just doing anyhow, like I was disSTOPing her (in the idiot's gbagaunnistic world of ijebu lingua o)-Chai! I've downgraded mysef gan o! That's how I finally said 'enough is enough' that me sef must find sombori anywhich way. As in, at a point P, I was just wondering if na swear dem swear gimme. Ok lemme berra shetup here. E don do, before sonbori's vagina explodes outta frustration at my confession. You sef shouldav just use style to inbox me or DM me that whenever you see me your brain is always doing you sonhow. ;p. Sha don't kobalise me, if you're still evxing at me you can like to gaan pack your broken vajayjay to 'Oga plumber' to help you 'pump' it back, because this JayJ here is not looking back.

Ahem! So this my new love ehn, her name na Twitter o! Hahahahaha! See your ugly faces all disfigured with shock! E faraburuku bale jo. You berra sherrup ur dirry stinking mouths. As if you didn't want to drink Otapiapia when you heard that JayJ has found new love. "Fimile Facebook fimile, mi o she mo Facebook fimile". **Now dancing..em..em that @wizkidayo'ss dance..Is it jerk? @darkhunkIII remind me nah?** Hehe, "Moraks you know see sey Wizkid no reply that our RT? E go fear that biabia wey dey my avatar nah". Oh! Pardon my manners FACEBOOKERS, I thought me and my boy were on our thing. "Oya Moraks CYDM"! Haha! See their clueless faces. When you people sef wi not give yoursef brain and step up. Mscheeew! You can like to stop reading this note and go back to your boring notifs. and'pokes' jo. Even God sef is on Twitter, he's following me and @mizztosin but I think he's blocked that @Herroyalgaganess! o_0! Haha! Y'all are just plain boring people. See them. Unar wan talk?! If I hear? I can't imagine what my life would be without Twitter, e go just bitter. Hehe. Unar go fia rhymes nah. For instance now I remember Last Sunday a.m when I woke up to meet a new TT (TT is short for Trending Topic). How many things will I have to start explaining to you this people sef? Wo, eyin le mo jo! It's now a generally known fact that the average FACEBOOker IQ is like 60. What am I saying sef? 60 ke? 50 jo! Yes 50! That's why you people always carry last in everything. I kukuma dinot know how this note was going to turn out before sef, so I've decided to share some small entertainment with you people beebee. But you'll wait first o, lemme gaan rinse this my Eba&pepper hand before I gaan mistakenly put the hand in my kokoro.#okbye, So where were we? There's something we do on Twitter called a TT (TrendingTopic) ,where everybody 'trends' a topic(the TT) by talking about it for a certain period of time. So last Sunday TT was something called #wecanallagreethat , and tweeps(twitterpeeps) had a real go at it. Now I know your life must prolly be a 'borehole' (It's a pun, I mean BOREhole as in BORing hole before you people start opening your Facebook dictionaries again. So here's some of MY VERY own #wecanallagreethat tweets which I tweeted on Sunday. Note that they are very original and I composed them myself, any semblance to anything you've seen before is purely coincidental. I couldn't remember all , so I added a few stuff more 'cos it's now 1:11am 23/1/11 and I still can't sleep. Pardon my typos and #gbagauns too. I'm only human, and I'm not even thinking of proofreading this. So peeps, here goes...

TAKE IT!...


#wecanallagreethat #wecanallagreethat is a boring TT.

#wecanallagreethat today is a Sunday.

#wecanallagreethat mosta y'all aren't tweeting from the church pews.

#wecanallagreethat the average Facebooker IQ is 60, that's why they always carry last in everything.

#wecanallagreethat if you still have Twitter's default egg as your avatar, then you're an EGGhead.

#wecanallagreethat Konga is Satan's attempt at music by appearing in human form.

#wecanallagreethat we've all wanted to tell our Dads 'FUCK YOU JO' at some points in our lives.

#wecanallagreethat 'Otapiapia' is better than 'flit'.

#wecanallagreethat Labe Orun is Nigeria's version of LarryKingLive.

#wecanallagreethat God wasted time and mud by creating OGD. That guy shoulda just been a 'voter's card'.

#wecanallagreethat there's an even greater use of the cough syrup than just treating cough.

#wecanallagreethat If you don't 'berry', you don't 'phone'.

#wecanallagreethat some girls have the power to mess in AUTOTUNE. That way, you'll always mistake their mess for a Malizia Uomo spray.

#wecanallagreethat Hon Patrick Obahiagbon has a readymade VIP bedspace in Yabaleft. Cc @Un_FollowMe

#wecanallagreethat Patience Jonathan is a definition of #gbagaun on autopilot.

#wecanallagreethat if 2 or more girls are in an avatar/picture, the uglier chic definitely owns the profile.

#wecanallagreethat 'VulGanizer' and 'Of which' are englishwords #madeinnigeria

RT @abroberts05: #wecanallagreethat RuggedyBaba really fucked toni payne

#wecanallagreethat Facebook is a social networking retirement facility for the old-brained, stiff and trendless.

#wecanallagreethat Most of the white people ffing(following) us are 'yahoobois' who are now on Twitter after finishing match.com and mate1

#wecanallagreethat BabaFryo is now a 'Special adviser to Fashola on FAILURE and UGLY PEOPLE'

#wecanallagreethat to 'mess' is HUMAN, but to 'menstruate' is femiNINE.

#wecanallagreethat If you travel to SouthAfrica, you've not yet travelled 'abroad'.

#wecanallagreethat Twitter breeds too much FAMZing and deyderism.

#wecanallagreethat BabaSuwe is Nollywood's retarded answer to Eddie Murphy.

#wecanallagreethat even if Nkiru Sylvanus uses a tipper of VIM to brush, she'll still have brown teeth.

#wecanallagreethat If TerryG and Vic-O do an exam together, they'll BOTH carry last together.

#wecanallagreethat if English language was human, it woulda killed Mr. Bisuga.

#wecallagreethat the rate at which a girl's BEAUTYful voice tickles your prick is not in any way directly proportional to her BEAUTY.

#wecanallagreethat our very own Asa is English Language's perfect example of a palindrome

#wecallagreethat Sex is best when it's with a ex.

#wecanallagreethat Wizkid really stole 'Holla at your boy'.

#wecanallagreethat YOU'RE VERY STUPID FOR READING THIS TO THE END!

JayJ™ © 2011

SOMNILOQUISM

He scours the scar un-end,

No succour in the end,

The scourge becomes history,

"his-story",

Far from gory,

Yet set in dark stones of memory,

His heart, heavey, heavy,a dead-man's chest,

Ardous, daunting, like his mid-semester tests.



Fear grips him, incongrously bogey,

Yet it's not lack of money,

He's heart's wired, plunged in a mire..

Dire consequences, its an unending vortex,

He solemnly hopes for that beyond; the vertex,

Unforthcoming it is, his ego peels off like nail cortex,

Much-maligned, he endures the spite,

Seeking respite,he gets none,

Not even in his favourite bottle of sprite.



He snaps, bewildered by the bogus hocus-pocus,

In soliloquy... "I wont loose focus"..

"I wont be riled,lest I be called puerile",

"I prolly even have more wile and guile".

"So why can't I emerge top-of-the-pile?

"I've been too far too benign o, this is the beginning jo!"




Seeks he for that,

Meek be that heart,

That he may once again shame the coterie minority,

Tame the doubting Thomases,

Besmirch the libellous "anti-JayJs'",

And smirk in mockery at the boomeranged slander,

Feel the ounces once again,

Beset in the weights of love,

Then cloves dried and a-wilting,

Now clovers sprung in three tree-ey branches,

Creepy,eerie,fiery...

Steadfast and undeterred,

Like a hungry retard eager to eat breakfast,

Codein to drain the pain,

That love shall sift through his veins again,

That the raft shall rift no more,

Adrift, bereft of gift,

That SHE be the lift, the albatross,

The opiate and the poison,

The prayer and the curse,

The zenith and the nadir,

The pain, the gain...





JayJ™ © 2009

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